Clever kids

A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem.

A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar Trap Ahead.”

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy’s accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading “TIPS” and a bucket at his feet full of change.

Will’s experience at the airport

After his return from Rome, Will couldn’t find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the carousel.

She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands.

Then she asked Will, “Has your plane arrived yet?”

Wrong email address

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

The Well-Dressed Salesman

A little old man answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a very well-dressed young man in a navy blue pinstriped suit, red silk tie, white shirt, shoes polished like black mirrors, and carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Get lost, Mister fancy suit!" said the old man. "I haven't got any money" and he proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his polished shoe in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."

The old man again told him to get lost. And with that, the young man emptied a bucket of mud all over his hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this mess from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.

"I got a better idea" said the old man, looking the young man up and down "If you don't clean it all up, I'll swap those fancy clothes of yours fer my overalls."

"Fine, sir!" said the young man confidently.

"That fancy suit and tie are gonna look good on me!" said the old man."But take them shoes off first!"

"But sir! I haven't demonstrated the vacuum yet!"

"Yes, you have. The electricity ain't workin"..."

The child and his mother

A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”